If you’re looking to completely destroy any shred of musical hope you might have left, Psychosynner’s debut album (their first of twelve planned releases over just two years) will certainly do the job. Starting things off in the most disastrous way possible, this album feels like a series of missteps in every conceivable category. From the cringeworthy lyrics to the bizarre vocal choices and subpar instrumentation, it’s hard to find anything redeeming here.

Let’s start with the lyrics, which are, without question, the album’s biggest sin. They range from laughably cheesy to outright cringe-worthy. If these guys set out to write the cheesiest, most over-the-top lyrics imaginable, they’ve definitely earned the crown. Lines like “I’ll be fuckin’ you like fire”, “I bite when the sun goes down”, and “I want to infect you with all my lust” are so juvenile and awkward, they make you wonder if the band was going for shock value or if they’re genuinely this clueless. Whatever the intention, the result is simply embarrassing.

Then there’s the vocalist, whose attempts at sounding sultry or “sexy” come across as laughable rather than alluring. Whether he’s trying to deliver lines in a slow, deep whisper or push his voice into an over-the-top growl, he only sounds cartoonish. It’s painfully obvious he’s attempting to channel someone like Ville Valo of HIM, but instead of capturing any of the brooding charisma, he ends up coming off as a poor imitation—desperate to be something he’s not, and doing so terribly.

Musically, the album struggles just as much. It mostly drowns in a sea of uninspired, generic hard rock riffs that fail to impress. The drums are lackluster, the bass is forgettable, and the guitar work is often just plain boring. While there are rare moments when the music seems to gain some momentum or sound like it might actually go somewhere, it’s almost always immediately undercut by the ridiculous lyrics or the distracting vocals, leaving you with nothing but a deflated, empty feeling. Even worse, the production is clunky and rough around the edges, often feeling unfinished, as if no one bothered to clean things up before putting it out.

In short, if you’re looking for a way to instantly lose any faith you have in modern rock music, Psychosynner’s debut album is the perfect way to torch it all. It’s an awkward, cringy mess that never quite finds its footing and is best left forgotten.