Bruce Dickinson - Tattooed Millionaire Review

Bruce Dickinson - Tattooed Millionaire Review

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I honestly can't figure out who or what the true purpose of this album is, or who it's really meant for. Maybe it's aimed at those all-tattooed millionaires out there, living a rockstar lifestyle and craving something that matches their image. But for an album that was released at the tail end of the '90s or early 2000s, it feels like it's trapped in the past—specifically the early '90s—with its guitar style, vocal performances, and lyrical content. The guitar work here is all high energy, but it feels incredibly cheesy, almost forced in its attempt to sound edgy or rebellious.

The vocals—while certainly famous—don’t really fit with this kind of music. They might work for an Iron Maiden-inspired sound, but here, they just don’t mesh with the rest of the instrumentation. It’s almost like they’re trying to shoehorn in something that just doesn’t belong. Then, there are the countless riffs and vibes borrowed from classic rock bands like Aerosmith and AC/DC, yet they end up sounding like nothing more than carbon copies of those legendary acts. It’s not original; it's like a tribute band that misses the mark.

The lyrics, too, are another major drawback. They're either incredibly unrelatable or just downright gross, as seen in tracks like "Lickin' the Gun." It's hard to connect with something that feels so forced and uncomfortable, not to mention the cringe-worthy imagery that doesn't add anything meaningful to the album's overall message. 

The one redeeming factor here is the production. Despite the lackluster songwriting and uninspiring performances, the album doesn't sound terrible. Some of the songs are at least decently produced, and they don't sound like a total mess, but that’s about the extent of the praise I can offer. It’s not a complete disaster, but it definitely doesn’t live up to its potential—and I’m still left wondering who this album was actually made for.

RATING: 5.5/10

NOTIABLE TRACKS:

Gypsy Road

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