Gorpulent arrive swinging on their debut demo with their mission statement printed right on the cover: Total Fucking Slam. And somehow, despite branding themselves as a brand-new “slam emo” band, they sound weirdly assured—disgusting, groovy, and accidentally hilarious in exactly the right ways. It’s crude, over-the-top music made by people who clearly understand how slam is supposed to hit.

The tone is established immediately on “Honey This Gallon Isn’t Big Enough For the Two of Us,” which opens with an absurd LSD-gallon sample that feels like a throwaway joke until it detonates into pure filth. Once the clip cuts, everything drops low and heavy: bass tones are thick and muddy, the drums roll slow and wide, and the guitars lean hard into pinch-loaded chugs that sit right up front. The vocals crash in like a frog gargling battery acid—wet, guttural, and perfectly placed in the mix. Even the intentionally stupid drug-buying samples feel baked into the band’s identity, peaking with the completely unhinged “he cut her head off” moment that slams headfirst into one of the demo’s nastiest breakdowns.

What’s surprising is how clean it all sounds. This isn’t raw, basement-level slam production; it’s sharp enough that every grotesque guttural, bass vibration, and drum hit lands with clarity and force. Somehow, Gorpulent manage to sound both polished and filthy at the same time, keeping that essential slam grime intact without sacrificing impact.

That balance carries straight into “Area 51 Is for Lovers.” The band stick with their chaotic sample choices, but they use them smartly, almost like palate cleansers before the next drop. The songwriting shows more intent here—structures are simple, but the pacing is tight, letting the groove breathe without dragging. The riffs stay low and chug-heavy, the bass remains concrete-thick, and the vocals sound like a sewer line collapsing in real time. Later death-metal-style riff flurries hint that the band have chops beyond slam clichés, adding momentum without breaking the track’s core weight. Again, the production quality is wild for a demo, giving everything a sense of size and definition.

Gorpulent fully lean into chaos on the closer, “Taking Kakarot to the End of the World Party.” Between the ridiculous samples and the Dragon Ball Z reference, the band’s personality hits peak absurdity—but the music backs it up. The tempo ramps up, the drums hit harder and faster, and the riffs turn into massive slabs of chunked-out brutality. This track also shows the most vocal range on the demo, shifting between classic slam gurgles, harsher death-metal shouts, and some of the deepest, most revolting gutturals here. Clayton Meade’s guest appearance folds naturally into the mess without feeling tacked on, while the double-kick work in the final stretch is tight, locked in, and genuinely impressive—even if the closing breakdown veers into familiar territory. It still crushes.

Total Fucking Slam Demo 2025 delivers exactly what it promises and then some. It’s heavy, groovy, grotesque slam that’s paced with intention and produced far better than it has any right to be. Gorpulent might joke around with their titles and samples, but beneath the humor is a band with real control over structure, groove, and impact. This isn’t slam for the sake of it—it’s slam with personality, purpose, and momentum. If this is what they’re doing on a demo, a full-length from Gorpulent could be genuinely dangerous.